


the price of something truly important

by neck_kisser_64



Category: Flowers Series (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26569717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neck_kisser_64/pseuds/neck_kisser_64
Summary: ringo sasaki and yatsushiro yuzuriha's time together at the academy is coming to an end, and difficult emotions still hang heavy in the air. but they've already accepted that the road ahead will be paved with pain. all they can do is march ahead, hand-in-hand, towards their future.thoughts on the ringo ending of automne.
Relationships: Sasaki Ringo/Yatsushiro Yuzuriha
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	the price of something truly important

It's a particularly breezy Spring afternoon today.

The sun has been peering through the dorm windows more brightly, and especially in places where gaps in the forest across the way will allow it too. It's finally risen high enough in the sky to rise above the treetops, after a Winter that felt especially short this year.

The drapes of this room are open, allowing the warm rays of the sun to shine in and heat up what's directly in its path... 

I made sure to snag the chair closest to the window. It's not directly in front of it, but when I lean my head over the back, I can feel its warmth soak into the top of my head. It compliments the warmth of the meal in front of me so nicely.

French onion soup... The seasons of heating your body up with soup is just about over, so I wanted to make sure to enjoy it one last time before it became too warm. And I feel I made the right choice.

Across from me is the one I'm eating this farewell meal with... My girlfriend.

The other piece of reasoning that led me to choose the window seat was her. She's been staring melancholically out the window more and more lately, preparing herself for the coming heat of summer. I know she prefers the cold. It's a small, silly gesture that she'll probably never notice, but I thought I could grant her a little bit longer of a Spring by making sure she got the side of the room that wasn't being warmed up.

We eat our little meal together in relative silence. I can tell I'm wearing my default smile, because whenever we make eye contact, she smiles back at me. Just one of acknowledgement, with her eyelids half-shut, like seeing my smile makes her realize she was wearing a serious face.

But when she gets back to her soup, her face returns to its flaccid state... The expression of someone feeling acutely the passage of time.

It's not as if she's particularly depressed today.

It's the Sabbath, which means we don't have any responsibilities. We decided we'd spend the afternoon together in her room, quietly enjoying one of these last days we'll be able to spend together like this.

......It's not as if I'm not sad, or anything.

But I still keep a smile as my default expression while we're quietly eating together.

Because these quiet scenes are a part of our relationship now. One that's unique to us. It doesn't feel awkward... At least, not to me.

The two of us finish at about the same time, and pile our dishes in the center of the table.

"I'll bring this back to the kitchen for us," I coo, standing up. She watches my face as I rise, her mouth curling into a smile on its own.

"There's no need to hurry, is there? We cleaned our bowls dry, so it's not as if anything is going to get caked on there.

And besides, if you leave and then come back, we'll lose the pretense of this just being a normal lunchtime visit."

"...Indeed, indeed. I suppose we wouldn't want anyone getting suspicious of us."

We laugh at each other, but since I'm already standing, she gets out of her chair as well with a nice, big stretch.

The plan was always for me to stay with her for most of the day. Until dinnertime, at least. So now that we've finished lunch, we're left with the entire gap between meals to enjoy to ourselves.

She walks over to where I'm standing in the ray of sun, and ruffles my hair with her trademark grin.

"Unless you're really that eager to leave."

"Well... If it's to indulge you, I can make an exception, Yatsushiro-senpai."

"My angel. You're always thinking of my feelings, Ringo-kun."

She pulls me in for a hug, stroking the back of my head, and so I settle my face gently into her breast with a big smile, nuzzling against her. I feel her exhale a puff of air in a little laugh, probably at how eager I always am to put my face here.

"I used to bemoan my height. But now I see I lucked out," I say into her blouse, muffled by the fabric.

"Hehe. You found yourself a standing headrest, which isn't something most people can say. I wish I could be as lucky."

"I'm sure when I hit my growth spurt we'll swap positions."

"Haha! You'd do that for me? It'd be hard to fit into doors, at that point."

"It's only fair. After all, I don't have anything to offer back to you."

"That's true."

I look up to her, pouting a little bit for comedic effect, as if I was expecting her to comfort me with a white lie. She starts laughing, so I can't help but laugh along.

"But you know, there is one way your shortness puts you at a disadvantage."

"You don't say..."

She nods, smiling down into my eyes. We lock gazes for a moment while I wait for her to elaborate, but it becomes clear quite soon that she isn't going to say it aloud.

".........You're so cruel, senpai," I mumble with a face of genuine grumpiness this time. She smirks back at me and raises her eyebrows, feigning ignorance.

"We both know I still can't reach even on my tippy-toes... No matter what I do, I can't kiss you by surprise like this."

"Maybe if you jumped?"

"I'd probably headbutt you in the jaw."

"Not as punishment, I hope."

We laugh. I am a little bitter that she has the advantage over me in this way, but it's just one of those little things that colors our dynamic... So I don't entirely hate it, either...

Giving in to my refusal to play along, she sits on the chair right behind her, and looks up at me. "How about this?"

At this configuration, she's still only a little bit below me in height. I step over and ruffle the top of her head, pulling her in for a hug the same way she did to me.

"It's not going to be as soft, but..."

"Haha... Not at all. It's very comfortable here..."

She sighs out a little smile, nuzzling into me the same way I always do to her. I snicker a little, unable to resist the cuteness of the gesture. I can see why it's so effective when I do it to her.

And then, mirroring earlier events perfectly, she leans back and looks up at me with a fake little pout. I resist laughing and smirk back at her, playing along.

"...It's not the same when you could stand up at any time, you know."

"I won't. I promise."

"You promise?"

"That's right. I promise."

"Hmmmm..."

I pretend to mull over it carefully, whether I can trust her or not. She increases the level of the pout, so much it's becoming hard to resist bursting out laughing, so I finally give in and nod.

She grins back up at me, partially in playfulness, but with a tinge of genuine delight. "You're so benevolent, Ringo-kun."

There's nothing I particularly want to retort to that with,

so I take her jaw in my thumb and forefinger,

and slightly tilt her face up to meet mine as I lean down for a kiss.

The sun filters in onto the both of us, making the warmth between our lips feel all the more comfortable. Making it hard to tell whether my face is flushed red, or if the feeling is just a result of the sun...

But the rectangular window perfectly frames our kiss, as if suspending it in time with a photograph. Etching itself into both our memories, somehow standing out even among all the kisses we've shared up to now.

I pull away. We're both smiling.

"......I do love you, Ringo-kun."

"......Ehe. I love you too, Yatsushiro-senpai..."

My playing the role of the dominant one slips away just slightly at the sincere gesture of affection in telling me her feelings. I can't help but shut my eyes blissfully and lean in to kiss the top of her head.

Even though our relationship has changed so much over these handful of months, we still refer to each other in the same ways we always have.

Maybe it's an acknowledgement of the time we spent as friends before we started dating. Or maybe it's just because it's a little funny to act like nothing's changed. It's kind of cute, in its own way.

She leans back in to hug me, more tightly than before. It catches me somewhat by surprise, so I let out a tiny yelp.

But she continues holding me like that, leaning her forehead onto my chest, not moving...

......The air around us has suddenly changed. I recognize it quickly enough to put my hand on her back and rub her gently, comfortingly, before I say something dumb.

A long, quiet moment, spent suspended in that sunbeam like this...

"......Come on, Yatsushiro-senpai. Let's lay down."

She nods against me, and I offer a hand to lead her over to the bed. She sits down as I close the window drapes, cutting off the room from its source of warmth, as what heat is already inside starts to disperse and merge with the cool air of the rest of the room.

She sits at the edge of her bed, wearing a serious expression as she stares at the floor between her feet...

"......Mm," I mumble to myself, thinking of what to do. And then I sit down next to her on the bed, laying one of my hands on hers.

I don't say anything...not for a while. Leaning forward slightly, so that she can make contact with my gaze whenever she's ready to, I simply watch her expression with eyes full of concern.

I can see into her eyes--into what she has going on inside of her--more than I used to. Over these past few months, I've learned more and more about the pain she holds inside of her.

It's not dissimilar from my own... Through realizing this, I've been able to comfort her in times when something unpleasant drifts into her mind. So for now, I let her sit quietly in it, until she's ready to let me in...

......She shuts her eyes and bows her head, moving her free hand to rub her temple.

"......Sorry...Ringo-kun."

"It's alright..."

She furrows her brow and looks at me apologetically, trying to smile. I frown back at her, as if reprimanding her for trying to force it.

"We only have so many days like this together before I leave."

"...Yeah."

It's her last year. She'll be leaving the academy before too long. Our time together at this school is coming to an end...both of us know that.

But we haven't really talked about it.

Her smile gets bigger, but somehow feels weaker for it.

"...What will you do, when I'm gone?"

"...Probably the same stuff as always. It's school, afterall."

"Hahaha... True."

"What about you...senpai?"

"........."

She glances over at the closed drapes, and the shape of the window's light trapped behind it, trying to get in. I know...what sorts of things are on her mind.

Her best friend. Nerine Komikado. The one she was supposed to stay with all her life... I know that she still wants to. She still yearns for her. I understand and accept those feelings... That I can never be that best friend who saved her as a child, or who spent all those years by her, being protected by her and protecting her in return...

......I know how painful it must be

to not know whether they will still be friends after all this.

I don't know what she's going to do when she leaves this academy, but it's not hard to imagine the path for Komikado-senpai.

A pious girl, who's forsaken love to express her faith as she was always meant to.

I pity her. The darkness inside me twists itself up into a wretched, gnarled branch, as I think about my conflicting emotions. Sadness that Yatsushiro-senpai will never get from her friend what she has always dreamed of, and a sick pleasure in knowing that means I can be the only one to provide it for her.

It's an ugly feeling. I don't deny it. 

But the way they meld together shapes into a sort of...determination.

To never do to her what she did.

"...Senpai."

"...Mm...?"

Her eyes, still unfocused and distant, turn towards me. I get right in her face, and make sure she knows how serious I am by the expression I put on.

"I don't know what it'll be like for you in the next few years...

......But I'm going to work hard while we're apart.

Hard enough that, when it's my turn to finally leave,

.........I'll come find you again."

She blinks, once, twice, finally seeming to look at me again through the fog that covers her heart. Her lips stay slightly parted, as if taken completely by surprise at my declaration.

"......A lot can happen in a few years, you know," she finally says back. But her tone is unconvincing. I smile and shake my head.

"And I'll tell you all about what happens in that time, so you'd better be ready to listen, okay?"

"And...what about Ichigo...?"

"She'll be there with me, of course. I'm sure she'll have lots to tell you, too."

"......Ahaha... How cruel."

"It's not."

She tries to deflect the conversation with a joke, with a tease, with a smirk and a laugh. But I don't give in. I stare directly through her eyes into whatever lies behind them--the ever-growing expanse of fog I discover more of every day. The fog so thick you could drown in it.

"...I'm going to keep protecting my sis. And I'm going to keep protecting you, too..."

"......Ringo... I..."  
Her eyes tremble at me, and I know she's trying so hard not to let her mask break now, but I can't let her keep it on right now.

I leap towards her, throwing my arms all the way around her shoulders and climbing partway into her lap. Her hands hover at my sides, afraid to make contact now, despite their usual eagerness.

"So... Stop pretending right now, okay...? You can pretend while we're apart... But when I see you again, I want you to take that mask off...and show me how you really feel to see me again.

Even if you've moved on... Even if you've found somebody else, or a new life that can't include me in it..."

...I'm crying now, at this point.

"Make sure you show me the truth behind those eyes...

Until then, I'll keep working hard...

So that if you still want me......

......We can watch over each other...forever."

"...R...Ri...ngo......"

Crack.

She wheezes under her breath as it all suddenly starts flooding out. As she starts, I can finally open my eyes and sniff myself out of my own sobs, patting her back comfortingly.

The two of us fall onto the bed, her curling up into a ball in my arms. I hold her with my short limbs and small body, doing my absolute best to embrace her entire body. Enough for her to know that I'm not going to leave.

"It... It hurts...!" she cries, her voice barely understandable through the sobs.

"I just...I just want...everything to be like it always was... T-to pretend it's all okay... I want to crumple these worthless feelings of mine into a ball, and throw it away... To move on, and...!!"

I don't know how much of what she says is true.

Whether she'd truly be happier to abandon her long-held feelings for her best friend. The ones that have shaped her into the woman I love.

The woman I'm holding in my arms, crying in a pathetic little ball, wishing desperately for a world that doesn't exist.

...I hate Nerine Komikado, I think,

but I'm also grateful to her.

Because of her, I'm able to hold my love like this, to be the one she can open her heart to. The only one who can comfort her in this way. A way that's unique to myself... A purpose nobody else has. Not even my sister...

Yeah... That's right.

This is what I've been searching for, isn't it? A place that's just for me. A love that's only mine. A role I can fill...that nobody else can.

A "self" that nobody else can lay claim to.

I'm sorry, Ichigo, sis... I've lost this one tether that keeps us together.

I promise I'll always protect you. I'll always love you. I'll always be with you.

But there's something else I have to do, too.

I'm the only one who can do it...

"......No matter what, Yuzuriha Yatsushiro... I accept your feelings...and I will stay at your side.

It may never stop hurting...

...But when it does hurt...when the pain is too much to bear...

......You'll always have my hand to squeeze,

okay?"


End file.
